{"id":1237,"date":"2020-05-09T21:49:16","date_gmt":"2020-05-09T21:49:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newjerseyaddictioninterventions.com\/?p=1237"},"modified":"2020-05-09T21:49:16","modified_gmt":"2020-05-09T21:49:16","slug":"9-signs-you-are-enabling-your-addicted-loved-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newjerseyaddictioninterventions.com\/9-signs-you-are-enabling-your-addicted-loved-one\/","title":{"rendered":"9 Signs You Are Enabling Your Addicted Loved One"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Trying to help a friend or family member who is suffering from addiction is a difficult task. There is a fine line between actually helping and enabling your loved one\u2019s addiction. Many of the things that friends or family members do to try and support someone in the grips of addiction actually end up fueling the addiction further and allow afflicted individuals to continue abusing drugs and alcohol.[1] However, it\u2019s not always easy to determine whether you are helping or enabling your addicted loved one.<\/p>\n<p>Addiction is a devastating disease that wreaks havoc on the mental health of the entire family &#8211; so family members may not be thinking clearly. On the other hand, some firmly believe that it is their responsibility to protect their loved ones no matter the cost. It\u2019s important to recognize the difference between enabling an addicted love one and providing healthy support so you can protect your own wellbeing and put an end to <a href=\"https:\/\/newjerseyaddictioninterventions.com\/codependency-signs-symptoms-and-support\/\">codependent behaviors<\/a>. Here are 9 signs that you are enabling your addicted loved one.<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_65 ez-toc-wrap-right counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title \" >Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #1e73be;color:#1e73be\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #1e73be;color:#1e73be\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/newjerseyaddictioninterventions.com\/9-signs-you-are-enabling-your-addicted-loved-one\/#You_Give_Your_Addicted_Loved_One_Money\" title=\"You Give Your Addicted Loved One Money\">You Give Your Addicted Loved One Money<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/newjerseyaddictioninterventions.com\/9-signs-you-are-enabling-your-addicted-loved-one\/#You_Provide_Shelter_When_They_Are_Capable_Of_Providing_For_Themselves\" title=\"You Provide Shelter When They Are Capable Of Providing For Themselves\">You Provide Shelter When They Are Capable Of Providing For Themselves<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/newjerseyaddictioninterventions.com\/9-signs-you-are-enabling-your-addicted-loved-one\/#You_Deny_The_Severity_Of_Their_Substance_Abuse\" title=\"You Deny The Severity Of Their Substance Abuse\">You Deny The Severity Of Their Substance Abuse<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/newjerseyaddictioninterventions.com\/9-signs-you-are-enabling-your-addicted-loved-one\/#You_Ignore_Your_Addicted_Loved_Ones_Unhealthy_Behaviors\" title=\"You Ignore Your Addicted Loved One\u2019s Unhealthy Behaviors\">You Ignore Your Addicted Loved One\u2019s Unhealthy Behaviors<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/newjerseyaddictioninterventions.com\/9-signs-you-are-enabling-your-addicted-loved-one\/#You_Rationalize_or_Make_Excuses_For_An_Addicted_Loved_Ones_Behavior\" title=\"You Rationalize or Make Excuses For An Addicted Loved One\u2019s Behavior\">You Rationalize or Make Excuses For An Addicted Loved One\u2019s Behavior<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/newjerseyaddictioninterventions.com\/9-signs-you-are-enabling-your-addicted-loved-one\/#You_Lie_For_Your_Addicted_Loved_One_To_Protect_Them_From_Negative_Consequences\" title=\"You Lie For Your Addicted Loved One To Protect Them From Negative Consequences\">You Lie For Your Addicted Loved One To Protect Them From Negative Consequences<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/newjerseyaddictioninterventions.com\/9-signs-you-are-enabling-your-addicted-loved-one\/#You_Place_The_Blame_On_Others\" title=\"You Place The Blame On Others\">You Place The Blame On Others<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/newjerseyaddictioninterventions.com\/9-signs-you-are-enabling-your-addicted-loved-one\/#You_Prioritize_Your_Addicted_Loved_Ones_Needs_Before_Your_Own\" title=\"You Prioritize Your Addicted Loved One\u2019s Needs Before Your Own\">You Prioritize Your Addicted Loved One\u2019s Needs Before Your Own<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-9\" href=\"https:\/\/newjerseyaddictioninterventions.com\/9-signs-you-are-enabling-your-addicted-loved-one\/#You_Are_Resentful_Towards_Your_Addicted_Loved_One\" title=\"You Are Resentful Towards Your Addicted Loved One\">You Are Resentful Towards Your Addicted Loved One<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"You_Give_Your_Addicted_Loved_One_Money\"><\/span>You Give Your Addicted Loved One Money<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Many people suffering from substance use disorder are low on cash because they spend a lot of money on their drugs. Plus, many people with addiction have difficulty holding a job, and if they are able to work, they put most of their resources towards obtaining drugs and alcohol. People in active addiction typically look to friends and family to provide them with the money needed to support their habits. Enablers find it extremely difficult, if not impossible to say no. While it is difficult to watch a loved one suffer, the majority of this money is no doubt going towards their habit. If you\u2019re giving your loved one cash every time they ask and you know they have a drug problem, you are enabling your addicted loved one.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"You_Provide_Shelter_When_They_Are_Capable_Of_Providing_For_Themselves\"><\/span>You Provide Shelter When They Are Capable Of Providing For Themselves<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>For some people in the grips of addiction, they are unable to pay rent and end up homeless or bouncing from couch to couch. Like money, addicts commonly turn to family or friends to look for a place to sleep for a free place to live. Enablers view turning their loved one away as heartless. Instead, they welcome the addict back into their homes, even to their own detriment. However, people with substance use disorder typically do not seek help unless they hit a personal low. By providing them with a place to live, it may give them the false sense their addiction is not that bad and ultimately prevent them from seeking help. This is one enabling behavior that needs to be addressed when setting boundaries with an addict.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"You_Deny_The_Severity_Of_Their_Substance_Abuse\"><\/span>You Deny The Severity Of Their Substance Abuse<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Whether downplaying it to yourself, the actual person with the addiction, or others, denial is extremely harmful and is another enabling behavior that codependent people engage in. Downplaying the severity of a person\u2019s addiction allows the person suffering to continue lying to themselves and say \u201cI\u2019m not that bad\u201d. This type of thinking keeps people in active addiction and stops them from getting <a href=\"https:\/\/newjerseyaddictioninterventions.com\/addiction-treatment\/\">treatment<\/a> for their disease.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"You_Ignore_Your_Addicted_Loved_Ones_Unhealthy_Behaviors\"><\/span>You Ignore Your Addicted Loved One\u2019s Unhealthy Behaviors<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>It may be tempting to completely ignore the harmful behaviors of an addicted loved one. However, ignoring unhealthy behaviors simply allows the other person to continue acting out on these behaviors. As a result, your addicted loved one continues to believe that they aren\u2019t hurting anyone else by abusing substances. If no one notices their problem, they convince themselves that there actually is no problem and continue to live in active addiction.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"You_Rationalize_or_Make_Excuses_For_An_Addicted_Loved_Ones_Behavior\"><\/span>You Rationalize or Make Excuses For An Addicted Loved One\u2019s Behavior<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>As a person\u2019s addiction progresses and gets out of hand, the problem becomes glaringly obvious not just to family and friends, but to others as well. Enablers will typically reason with themselves or others that there is a justifiable reason for their addicted loved one to behave this way. This enabling behavior gives the notion that someone suffering from substance abuse does not need to take responsibility for their actions. If you\u2019re covering up or rationalizing your loved one\u2019s addiction, you\u2019re enabling his or her addiction to go on.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"You_Lie_For_Your_Addicted_Loved_One_To_Protect_Them_From_Negative_Consequences\"><\/span>You Lie For Your Addicted Loved One To Protect Them From Negative Consequences<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>The majority of people suffering from addiction engage in problematic and risky behaviors that can lead to unwanted consequences.[2] Sometimes, they will steal money, drive drunk, or go to other desperate means that ultimately result in legal charges. Other times, they may miss out on important events because they were too drunk or high to make it. On a regular basis, enablers lie for their addicted loved ones to prevent them from having to face the consequences of their actions.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"You_Place_The_Blame_On_Others\"><\/span>You Place The Blame On Others<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Loved ones of an addicted friend or family member sometimes do not want to admit that the addicted loved one\u2019s unhealthy behaviors are a side effect of their drug problem. Instead, enablers look to outside sources to place the blame on, instead of the addict themself. Pointing to other people or things as a cause for someone\u2019s behavior is a tell-tale sign that you\u2019re enabling your addicted loved one.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"You_Prioritize_Your_Addicted_Loved_Ones_Needs_Before_Your_Own\"><\/span>You Prioritize Your Addicted Loved One\u2019s Needs Before Your Own<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Enablers usually engage in the above behaviors to their own detriment. Some enablers will give money to their addicted loved one, but then not have enough money to pay their own bills. Others may put other relationships at risk by putting so much and effort towards trying to help their loved one with their addiction. Focusing an immense amount of energy into your loved one\u2019s addiction will take an emotional toll on you and your mental health. If you aren\u2019t taking time to care for yourself and are putting your mental health on the line to help your loved one, you might be enabling his or her addiction.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"You_Are_Resentful_Towards_Your_Addicted_Loved_One\"><\/span>You Are Resentful Towards Your Addicted Loved One<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Although friends and family of addicts ultimately love them, that love is usually accompanied by fierce resentments. Individuals in the grips of addiction leave a lot of damage in their wake. They cause others emotional, physical, and even financial distress, so it\u2019s not surprising that friends and family develop resentments.<\/p>\n<p>Recognizing that your enabling behaviors are perpetuating the cycle of addiction is the first step towards getting an addicted loved one the real help they need.\u00a0 Putting your foot down and saying \u201cno\u201d for the first time has a powerful effect. Instead of engaging in enabling behaviors, steer the conversation towards treatment or consider staging an <a href=\"https:\/\/newjerseyaddictioninterventions.com\/intervention\/\">intervention<\/a>. Acknowledge that they are suffering from a disease and need to seek professional help.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re ready to stop enabling your addicted loved one and get them to seek treatment, contact our addiction specialists in New Jersey today.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/enabler#how-to-stop\">https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/enabler#how-to-stop<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/addiction\">https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/addiction<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Trying to help a friend or family member who is suffering from addiction is a difficult task. There is a fine line between actually helping and enabling your loved one\u2019s addiction. Many of the things that friends or family members do to try and support someone in the grips of addiction actually end up fueling [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1238,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>9 Signs You Are Enabling An Addicted Loved One - NJ Intervention Service<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you providing your addicted loved one with money that you know they will spend on drugs? Or housing them when they are capable? 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